One of the questions I often hear from clients is “how do I protect myself from outside influences?”. For most of them, their first line of defense is to throw up some kind of wall, barrier, bubble of protection, or another variation on this theme. In certain situations, this can make a lot of sense – particularly when the attack is sudden or violent, and immediate defense is necessary. In the long term however, there are a number of problems with this approach that make it an ineffective solution:
1. Barriers do double duty. They keep things out, but they also keep things in. Whenever we put up barriers, we confine ourselves to the same extent that we block unwanted energy or attention.
2. Barriers take a lot of work to maintain. Every ounce of effort we put into creating & maintaining barriers is an ounce of effort we take away from creating & maintaining something else.
3. Living a walled-up life is living a life of fear. Fear can be useful as a short-term, immediate response, but it is toxic as a long-term condition. Even though you may not feel acutely afraid all the time – inherent in the idea that we need to protect ourselves from something is the idea that we are either under attack, or could be. This translates to living in perpetual “fight, flight or freeze” mode – even if only on a subtle level.
4. Blocking something out, does not change the nature of that thing; nor does it cause that thing to cease to exist. What it does do is create a greater challenge, instigate frustration, inflate rage, perpetuate conflict, and inspire a “survival response” – which can in turn, cause that thing to strengthen itself further in it’s efforts to penetrate our defenses.
5. It is impossible to communicate with, embrace, transform, resolve or heal a relationship from within the confines of a closed-off, sealed & isolated cell. Make no mistake. If you are under attack, you are in relationship with whatever is attacking you. Even with the strongest defenses in place, this relationship will continue until you transform it into something else. Plus, you will continue to suffer the effects of living in fear.
SO, WHAT ARE WE TO DO?
First, if you need to defend yourself quickly & immediately, and a barrier seems like a good option – go for it! Just don’t leave it at that, or make barriers your default method for dealing with conflict or attack. Then…
1. Once the urgency has passed, take some time to find your centre – the still, silent place inside you where your truth and power reside. Fill yourself up. Become solid & unwavering. Embrace your inner strength, courage & knowing. It is from this still, silent place that all true healing, resolution, transformation and evolution emerges.
2. Sit yourself down, and from a safe distance – take a good, long look at whatever is threatening you. Notice its form, textures, colours and other physical characteristics. Watch its behaviors, actions, reactions, movements and emotional responses. Observe the environment it exists in, the things it is supported or influenced by, and the things it is connected to. Look for its vulnerabilities, the places it is weak, damaged, uncertain or afraid. See its strengths, the places it excels, how and when it acts with precision, and moves without effort. View what you fear with the goal of understanding it completely, for it is in this understanding that your power to transform this thing truly lies.
3. Unleash your creative subconscious. Allow yourself to receive images, insights and instruction as to how to transform this thing. DO NOT JUDGE or DISMISS WHAT COMES THROUGH. Remain open & willing to try things you may never have imagined, or even thought yourself capable of. Sometimes the most uncommon approaches are the most effective.
4. Act. With decisiveness, clarity and confidence. This step is key. Whatever you decide the best course of action is – you have to DO it. Inaction and avoidance will not make the problem go away. This might be scary. You might have to try a couple of different things before you get it right. Do it anyway. Action is the catalyst for transformation.
5. Cleanse. Clear. Purify. Suffuse. Bathe yourself in clean, clear energy. Wash away the dust & grime. Heal your wounds. Do the same for the thing you have transformed. Bring yourself home to your innate power. Fill yourself up with goodness. The more you remain full of the good, the less space you leave for the bad.